roommates | keeping house

When we think of a group of women under one roof, most of us go “uh-oh”. However, I think for adult single women who are no longer in their parents’ home, the opportunity to live with other single women can be a unique and rewarding experience.

For the first year and a half of my time in college, I lived with a total of three single women – of which none were Christians. From that experience I learned that it is far better, for the atmosphere of the home and your own well being, that you and the women you share a home with have the same foundational doctrines. So I’d like to share some practical advice in the next few articles to help you survive and enjoy living with other women as well as show you how these skills will help you when it is time for you to marry.

Find Christians!

If you are a Christian woman, I must belabor the importance of having other Christian women as roommates. It’s great to experience and talk with people of diverse cultural backgrounds, learning their heritage, how they grew up, etc., but having diverse religious opinions under one roof can lead to a not so great result.

Everyone has a context and presupposition that affects the way they think and behave in this world. People’s morals are developed from their presuppositions and if yours are in conflict with theirs it can lead to a frustrating household and your misery. Amos 3:3 asks the rhetorical question “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (KJV), the obvious answer is no. So when considering your Christian values, it is wise to chose someone who agrees upon the same.

Now, I do not believe it is necessary that every doctrinal point you believe must be agreed upon by your roommates, there is certainly room for disagreement and this could open up a door for denominational dialogue. But if you treasure the essential, orthodox, and biblical foundations of the Christian faith, then above all else those things should be agreed upon, and not only agreed but shown in the fruits of your roommates’ walk. Sometimes this isn’t always apparent, especially if you haven’t known someone for a sufficient period of time, but when browsing for a roommate, get to know their lifestyle and how they describe their walk with Christ; for this is how you will know if they really are follows of Christ (Matthew 7:15-20 ESV).

What this has to do with marriage

I now want to bring this into focus in terms of how this will apply to those of you who desire to be married. The bible commands Christians not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14 ESV). Why? Because they are filthy sinners? No, since that is precisely what you are except that you are a sinner who by grace was called to faith in repentance in Christ. It is because you, whose life now belongs to Christ, cannot be partnered with those who practice lawless disobedience towards God (Ephesians 4:17-24, Ephesians 5:5-9 ESV). The very same principle applied to finding a roommate also applies to finding a husband. Your roommates may only be with you for as long as the lease contract is in effect, but you and your future husband will take part in a life long contract (or covenant as God calls it) to which you must honor as God calls you to honor. In this it is absolutely essential! imperative! crucial! vital! (is that enough adjectives for you?) to choose a man whose foundation is in Christ.

I know that in my freshman year of college, the option was not available to choose a specific roommate (perhaps I will write about how to survive this situation), but if it is at all possible to have some say in who you are paired with make sure she is a CHRISTIAN.